The perspective of everything changes as we move on from one step to the other. And so does what constitute happiness. Back in school days, my friend and I would spend our pocket allowance and share an ice cream or a plate of Momo (Yon ton or Dumpling) and then walk back from school and pretend that the pain on the feet was due to overexertion on the soccer field. Happiness then was to have enough money in our pockets to afford a plate for each in the gang and still be able to ride a bus home…happiness was about being able to fill another canvas with a composition that has yet to show that the lines between good and bad is often non-existent.
And with gradual changes in life the innocence got buried in the pursuit of more material things. Choosing an academic area that trains more than it educates became a priority. All that I wanted was to be able to work with consulting firms and be able to help clients strategize. It happened too. And then suddenly all I wanted was to create knowledge, be more daring without worrying about a boss, office politics, or a client. So here I am pursuing my PhD. But as I completed my first year in the program I realized that academia is not all about creating knowledge. The bosses are double blinded images. The clients are invisible reviewers and the knowledge is only good if it is on paper being approved often by the wisdom of the invisible boss and the anonymous clients. The matter of success is a toss of a coin.
As I walk towards my campus with the equal prospect of success and failure coupled with responsibilities of teaching, studying, writing and researching, all I do is dreaming about sharing a plate of dumpling like back in the days of school.
4 comments:
enjoy what you are doing here and now... who knows, one day you may miss all this ;)
I think that the other thing to think about here is that there are politics inherent in every social environment, whether it be family, friends, church, corporation, academia, government, or where-ever...the nature of the politics changes a bit from one setting to the next, but any time you get more than two people involved in something there are bound to be political dynamics afoot...so consequently creating knowledge in academia is inherently a political process, for better or worse...
well written Avi. But I am sure u know that everyone pines for what they have loved and lost once upon a time. (un)fortunately, we r creatures that do not cherish what we have while we have it. it is only when we do not have something that we begin to value it. sad but true. who knows, may be u'll start to miss what you're doing right now once you have what you now desire. it's the way we r 'built'.
It has always been said that the 'bygones are always better than bygones that will go by' but had it not been for that simple joy of sharing a plate with out cumulative allowances, we would probably not have realised how we feel today.
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