Walking forward and sleep walking backwards. What does that mean to you? Does it mean the slow progress of rapid Technological innovations? Or is it the Cultural inertia to accept a change? Or that fact that ambition is a subconscious decision consciously taken because we cannot play with our past and the presents mocks us of those moments which were reflection of the first signs of spring after a heavy snowfall?
No matter how ahead I go I will still remember the smell of the pine forest that once resided in my school. I can still hear the drums when the NCC cadets marched with their rifle. And since we cannot live and re-live those moments, a desire for the jet propulsion comes….to escape. Do we escape? Don’t we turn back? Dressed in the pin stripes doesn't the mirror that shows you in those $2.99 T-shirts that was bought by the savings from cleaning someone’s car, or doing some one’s math paper? Don’t we see the reflection in the wine of a younger self who is high spirited yet humbly clad? Don’t those comfortable couch reminds of those second hand furniture’s got from trash and calling all of your friends to help you carry it to the apt, and spending the entire Sunday cleaning it? And later sitting on the carpet imagining that you are sitting on the sofa.
So why make the conscious effort to leave something that is inculcated in us, that stays in your heart yet we feel ashamed of its presence.
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1 comment:
nicely written.
indeed the thoughts of the past please as well as haunt us at times. haunt because when we want to relive them we realise that we just cant! but that shouldnt bother us as i feel we dont live moments, we live the life as a whole. its a collection of moments and memories, but they in themselves are incomplete without the whole. when you board the ac first class of rajdhani from delhi to calcutta you remember the moment when you had boarded a second class without reservation from cal to delhi 2 years back to start your career. that moment becomes useless until this moment that signifies that. hence my boy, if you remember the NCC cadres and beating of the drums now, it is probably because you are now back to the same city as a man and can see the same familiar faces from your school days. it brings moments of happiness, pride, peace, anger and apathy and as you sit back with a cup of coffee, a smile passes your lips unnoticed as you think, what a life this has been so far!
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